A crisis of faith

I am having a crisis of faith, and it started on Sunday with a terrible long run. By the time I stepped out for my 6 miler, it was 95°F...of course it did not look that hot, so I thought I would just go for a quick run at a good pace and left without even a drink. After 2 miles, I was soaking wet, and feeling terrible. I walked the rest of the way home. Come Monday (a rest day), I ran the remaining 4 miles, and was that an effort! It was so hard that I started questioning the type of training programme I am following. Needless to say, these doubts are compounded by reading other people's blogs - people who are pounding out miles and miles and more miles.
So on Tuesday I looked at another programme which has quite a lot of miles per week, and began to think about switching programmes. Not ideal, but I was feeling slightly desperate: I do not want to get to November 21 and find that I do not have the 'legs' to get through it. I had a quick chat with Stuart who felt that my current programme is of a better quality with regard to the type and intensity of workouts. I also had a chat with a colleague of mine who only does triathlons, but her response left me dissatisfied. Why can't people think outside their own little boxes for once??
Well, Tuesday's training was HR1 mile E, 6x1 min HR, 1 mile E. Did the first mile on a 2% incline, then 6 x1 @ 6% and 6.5 mph. Last mile at 1 and a half % incline. I Felt a bit better after my previous 2 runs, but not much since by now I was in the midst of a full crisis of faith. After yet another unsatisfying conversation with another colleague, who seemed convinced that one has to run quantitatively, I took matters into my own hands.
I emailed the creator of the programme directly, and have spelled out my concerns to him. This is a beginner's marathon programme that I found in Women's Running (May/June 2009). It has been designed by Matt Fitzgerald, who also writes for Triathlete. In fact, I first got to know him through that magazine, and always liked his advice and approach to tri training. When I saw his marathon programme (that was not geared towards triathletes), it seemed like a gift from the gods.
So whilst I am waiting to hear back from him, I have also read a bit more about his approach to training. Matt's approach is that Feel Good Training = Better Results. No, he is not advocating cruising along, doing little or no work. He believes that runners should train by feel. The reason is that how a runner feels during runs and about his or her running generally at any given time is the most sensitive and reliable indicator of how well the training process is going. The mind and the body are deeply interconnected. He goes on to say that "There are two enemies of feeling good in training. The first, as I’ve already suggested, is lack of fitness. If you train too lightly to stimulate steady improvement in your fitness, you will not enjoy your training as much as you would if you worked harder, suffered more, and grew stronger for your pains. The second enemy of feeling good in training is fatigue. The more fatigue you carry into a workout, the lousier you will feel, regardless of your fitness level. Therefore, maximizing your enjoyment in training requires that you minimize fatigue".
So far so good, but what does this translate into? It would seem that he proposes shorter and better quality workouts, rather than just grinding out the miles. I have to say that on the few long runs I have done thus far, it does feel as though I am running at a more consistent pace with each mile, rather than falling off midway.....still, Sunday is a 12 mile run, and I am anxious to see how that works out. In the meantime, I will do a short test today, with my 4 mile Easy run. Has anyone else ever had a crisis of faith with their training programmes? If so, what did you do about it?

Yes, it was the day........

I had a HR: 1 mile E, 6 x 1 min HR, 1 mile E today, for a total of 2 miles and 6x6 minute sprints up a hill. Well, I did all that, and managed to recuperate 2 miles of my missing 5 from last week, which leaves me with 3 to catch up to. Not too shabby considering that I actually did a lot of hill work this evening.
I started off at a gentle pace on the flat, then picked it up at the next mile on a slight hill, did the repeats at an 8% elevation, running at an 8:34 pace. This is massive for me, because I do not think a) I have ever done this before and b) I have ever been so methodical in my calculations! However reading all your blogs has provided me with good inspiration and I want to improve too! I finished off with a gentle jog at an 11 minute pace on a 2% elevation for three quarters of a mile, and then got up to 10 minutes and for another half mile. It was slightly over 4 miles in total, but who's counting, when there are still 3 outstanding!
Nuff said - now all I need to do, is repeat tomorrow. Shower, dinner and a quick start to my new book, ciao!

HR: 3miles E w/4x10sec HR - Check!

This morning was hard to get out of bed! It usually takes me an hour to realize who I am, but since I was late and was not going to miss my run, I had an espresso, and off I went. It was around 80°F around 7am, so this was a very sweaty run. It was pretty good and I can see that my fitness is slowly improving. Nothing much to report, just that it felt good to start and finish this run.

I did not make any lunch for work, as I was going out to a Thai place with a colleague. However, I did manage to make a bottle of Green Monster to share with my colleagues. When I drink this at work for breakfast, I have been greeted with "What the hell is that?" to "God, how can you drink that?" So, I brought some in to work for a tasting, and this is the reaction from my colleagues:

Notwithstanding their expressions, everyone was surprised at just how good it tasted, but were unanimous in feeling that they could not go another round in the morning drinking this.  I still have a few more colleagues who want to try this, so I might yet get a few converts to the Green Monster Movement!

Friday 30 July: 4.1 miles - DONE

I got up after 3 and a half hours of sleep last night, and did my run this morning. It took me 45 minutes to run 4.1 miles, and whilst not exactly Speedy Gonzales, I am pleased both with the time and the run.
Tomorrow - Repeat. Cheers!

P.S. - How to get out of a funk

My previous post did not really get to the nitty gritty of the matter, so to sum up, this is how it went down for me.

How to get out of a funk:
1.  Accept it for what it is - a funk.
2.  Accept that it might take a bit of time to get out of it.
3.  Cycle, do the elliptical, do yoga...just do 1 thing, 1 step at a time.
4.  Control what you eat - that is the only thing you CAN control, so be ruthless.
5.  Read other people's running blogs - it helps refocus the mind and offers great encouragement.
6.  Do not be afraid to ask for help - other people may have been to Funkville too!
7.  Use this time to catch up on other stuff.
8.  Sign up for something.  You will appreciate what it means to run all over again.
9.  Do not set absurd expectations: no training does not procure miraculous results.
10.  When you finally leave Funkville, roll up your sleeves, work hard and you will get back on track.

How to get out of a funk

As you know these past few weeks have been hellacious. I went through a bit of an upheaval, even though I did not think so at the time. Technically Stuart and I were supposed to move back to Switzerland this coming March. However, the company was thinking of moving us to Frankfurt-Am-Main , so the toss up was going to be between the US and Germany. Although I felt that I still had some unfinished business here, I was rather looking forward to Frankfurt. I guess there are things in Europe I miss more than I care to think about!
Anyway, things went back and forth for several months, and on 18 December (the day we left for our holidays), we were told that we were going to stay in the US - permanently. It's all very well having 'unfinished business', but to stay permanently? I definitely was not ready for that shock. It only started sinking after the holidays. It was a very strange feeling, and it all seemed to have happened so suddenly. Anyway, long story short, I felt lacklustrous for the entire month of January. I really battled my demons - because suddenly nothing held my interest. And there is nothing worse than trying to run/do yoga/anything, when you actually think that it is a waste of time.
Perhaps I am not explaining all of this very well, but whilst I could process all of the logic, I just could not marry up my emotions to that logic. So there I was in a rather grey wasteland. I do not know if this can be classified as an official funk, but it certainly felt like one to me! I did manage to do the odd run and cycle a bit too, and tried not to analyse it too deeply. I think a very important step toward feeling back in control, was to finally get back on track with my eating. The ribs/chips/beer fest that I had indulged in over the holidays had left me feeling sluggish, tired and irritable. With all this other stuff going on, I knew that the only thing I could really control was what I ate. So I did just that, and have slowly started feeling a lot better physically.
Once that kicked in, I started thinking about how excited I was when we first moved here - all the goals I had set myself, and all the things I still wanted to do. I started thinking about running more and tried to get to the gym in the evenings, as my morning runs seemed to be a thing in the distant past. Well, last Saturday I had my Race up Boston Place - which is a stairclimb to raise money for the American Lung Association. Last year I managed to run up 82 flights of stairs (789 stairs) in 10:29, and this year I was hoping to improve a bit.
Thursday night I felt a bit panic stricken as I had not trained for this event at all. So I ran up the stairs in our building a few times, and afterwards felt like I was on the verge of a collapse of sorts! Running up stairs is a fantastic but painful workout for the unfit. Well, that was all I could manage by Saturday, and since people had actually sponsored me to do this race, I had to go. The race was hard and it took me 13:19 minutes to complete it. But it made me think about why I do all these things in the first place - firstly because I can and there is no reason why I cannot, and secondly because it gives me joy.
I got home and decided to get things ordered and sorted. Well, I still have 2 bags of mail to sort through, but the house is sans newspapers, journals, piles of magazines and general chaos. Once that was ordered, I went out for a run on Sunday. Then on Monday morning at 6:15am, and again this morning. Yes, I am finally feeling the love again! And it's great. I have decided to go for the half-marathon in Hyannis, as there is not enough time to get back with the marathon programme. But at least I am going to try and make it a fantastic half!

Post-holiday funk

Since coming back off holiday, I have been lazy, and not gone out running. Admittedly it was snowing quite a bit last weekend, and it was icy for most of the week, but I did not even run on the treadmill (except on Thursday). I had also asked some advice on how to restart my programme, and whether my 2 week lay-off had 'ruined' my chances of doing the marathon in February. Coach Kelly from the runnerslounge had some very useful advice:
"Hello Nataila
Happy Hogmanay and Happy New Year to you too! Sounds like you are doing many things right. With this detail and background, I do not see this being a major issue. Listen to your body and pay attention - if things start to ache perhaps you are doing too much too quickly. It sounds like you have a good base and are cross training so I highly doubt that 2 weeks off this far out will cause too much problems. The problem is following a "cookie cutter" type of program though. That is how so many people get injured and actually is a man reason why I have a job as a coach:) We only do 100% customized training plans so we can adapt to all things that come up.
When you take 2 weeks completely off, you can just jump back into the training plan where you would be if you never missed it. That increases your chances of injury! As I mentioned in the beginning, it's so much better to run shorter, more frequently than to run a couple times a week for longer. So, that is my recommendation- build back by doing 20 to 30 minutes 5 to 6 days a week, then if you wish after about 2 weeks, you'll likely be stronger for it. You'll need to adjust your plan for the 2 weeks missed and the new 2 weeks.
I hope this helps! Congrats on all you are doing! I hope you have tons of fun and lots of success!"
What a great encouragement, and yet I have not managed to get my mind into gear yet. I did a half hour run on Thursday, and that was good, but I seem to have lost a few bits in between. I have decided not to complain and go into overdrive about this, as is my tendency. I want to run for the rest of my life, and I also want to improve and get a faster. Therefore, I think that 'slow' periods are part of this. Still, all well and good waxing philosphical about it, but has anyone else been in this position, and have some advice for getting out of this funk?

The meaning of early morning running

There are many tales of those who get up at the crack of dawn and open their day with a run. I was never amongst those. On Saturdays and Sundays when we were living in Italy, I would get up and meet Francesco (my running partner) at Pian del Lago. Pian del Lago is a huge expanse of green just outside of Siena, with the old Francigena way running through it - this was the road the pilgrims would take from Rome, on their way to Compostela in Spain. Pian del Lago is home to many horse riding clubs, and agritourismo ventures, but more importantly, it is the meeting point for all runners from Siena. This is where everyone meets up and go off on their long runs. Running in Siena itself is unusual. Given the long narrow streets it would seem perfect, but it would be inappropriate - the only area 'designated' for running inside the city, would be the Fortezza Medicea (as I mentioned in a previous post).

I would meet up with Francesco, but before 9am. Siena lies quite low to the sea, so in winter there was always thick fog which never really lifted before 11am. I used to have quite mixed feelings about these runs as I was always quite sleepy, and because improvements were slow to come, I always set off with a feeling of dread.
Perhaps at this point I can finally be honest and talk about what the real issues were.   I was quite friendly with someone called Leonardo, who used to own a sports shop in Siena, aimed mainly at runners ("Il Maratoneta" kind of gives it away), but he also used to sell swim stuff. At the time I was learning to swim and used to buy my stuff there. Soon, I started buying a magazine from the shop called 'Correre' which is the Italian equivalent to Runner's World, and there I read about Paavo Nurmi. And that is how I started running.
I used to run at Pian del Lago and was approached by a few clubs to become a member, but I resisted. When I started doing speed workouts at the track, people still used to approach me, and in the end I joined a club, which unfortunately had some very fast people. In an effort to keep up and score points for the club in the regional table, I would run a lot, but skipped out on the fartlek and speed work. Since I did not acquire a 'base' of miles, running suddenly became hard work and I no longer enjoyed it. I continued though since I could not let the club down, but I had long stopped enjoying it. This went on for years, and when we left Siena, I stopped running. And almost 8 years later, to the day, I started running again.
During my final year of PhD at Oxford, my room was right next door to the University Parks, alongside the Cherwell River. With such a stunning view, I could not resist, and went out for a walk one day, and the next and the next.

Soon, I started running, very short, very slow runs, with lots of walking in between.  I could not believe how unfit I had become and even worse, that I could no longer 'run'.  However, the University Parks consist of 70 acres of beautiful woodlands...from carefully tended gardens, to the most breathtaking cultivated wilderness.  Most of the 'proper' runners used to run either early morning or early evening, so I tended to avoid those times, and would go out shortly before lunch.  Those runs seemed to go on forever, and yet, I was not doing any great distances.  I did not time myself, I had no idea of distances, I merely went (photos Celia Sawyer)
out and ran.  It took a long time and I spent many hours thinking about why I wanted to run, and why I

was running.  I also had mixed feelings about my running time in Siena.  Although it had been stressful, I had enjoyed it in a funny sort of a way.  I enjoyed running with Francesco through the Tuscan hills, both in summer and winter.  I enjoyed the competitions, and most of all, I enjoyed the social activities and the schwag from our sponsors.

Funny thing is, here in the US you get a race t-shirt, energy drinks, shot bloks etc, and sometimes even a medal for your troubles.  In Italy you seldom get a t-shirt or medal (I do not know if that has changed now), but you do get a box of goodies containing pasta, Chianti wine, snacks, extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar and other goodies in that vein.  So those were the things I missed, and the

 

(photo Simon Ho, Linacre College)   

genuine cameraderie, but I did not miss the stress of accumulating points for the club, doing badly in a race and thereby letting the club down.  During the remainder of my time at Oxford, I could think of no good reason why I should run, so I put it out of my mind and just ran.
When I went back home to Geneva, I continued running outdoors, around Lake Geneva.  Indeed, I would go out at night.  Ah yes, I had forgotten about that!  Yes, I have run in the night.  Geneva is an extremely safe city, and I had no issues running at night - reason being, that there were no other runners out at 9pm! I still had no reason why I was  running, but felt that I wanted to recapture something of that running feeling that I had experienced in Siena.  I had not quite thought it through yet, when we moved to Boston.
Boston, the perfect city for runners.  I was excited and overwhelmed by the number of runners here, but it seemed that no matter what time of the day or night, there were always people running!  For 7 months I ran indoors on a treadmill, and then finally on World Run Day in 2008, I ran outside, and the sky did not fall on my head.  Although I had run alone previously, it was always 'alone' - there were very few other runners about.  Running alone here was challenging, because I hate running slow.  I could not accept that of myself in Siena, and I think that was what I was struggling with here.  Francesco was a strong runner and he would set a good pace that I would force myself to keep to - I had no Francesco here, and to be quite honest, I do not want that kind of stress again (well not just yet).  I am not a particularly fast runner, but on good days I can hold my own.  However, I cannot run to a blistering pace without a little help, but what to do without Francesco?
Then it finally dawned on me, why I run: for myself.  I run to please myself.  No one else but myself.  I know it sounds a little weird and totally obvious, but it was not obvious to me.  There was a delicious freedom in discovering that, and suddenly running became a complete joy, not just that partial one that I had previously experienced.  That said, I think my true test came this week past, when I went running at 6:30am - yes, with all the other runners.  It was delightful, and I am looking forward to this week.
I have mentioned what a delight it is to run here in the US, and I truly feel that 2010 is going to be the year of my Great Leap Forward, so stay tuned!

An amazing run - 8 miles!

Last Sunday my long run was an 8 miler. Given some of the health issues I have been having lately, I was feeling slightly bothered, and thought about taking the easy option, and doing it on the treadmill. However, I guess the key to the long run in marathon training is to actually get out and run the distance itself. I decided to stay close to home, and if I needed to, I could always stop and walk for a bit, or even walk home.
Sunday was a beautiful day, the sun was up and the wind was blowing. I took a bottle of water and off I went. It was a truly stunning day and everyone was out. I started at a leisurely pace, and continued at what I think was a 5.8 pace. Not terribly fast, but I wanted to finish the run. When I finished the run, it turned out to be 9 miles in total, and was such a great feeling. The longest run I ever did outdoors, was a 12 mile run in Italy, but then I used to run with Francesco (my running partner) who used to spur me on as well as set a good pace.
What was special about the run on Sunday is that now I can truly say I can run alone! I am free of my angst.
It was a great run, the beautiful autumn colours along the Charles River were magnificent. It left me with a good feeling, and I am looking forward to my next long run, which is a simple 6 miles next Sunday.

On track and running again!

I have not posted anything in a while, since we have had loads of visitors. Of course it was wonderful to see our friends and family again, and there was so much to do and show them around Boston, our new stomping ground! It was interesting to see how our lives have changed over the past year since moving here. We had a much more leisurely lifestyle in Europe, whilst the US seems really quite intense. For me this is most evident at work, but it also became quite apparent when our visitors came. That being said, we are having a great time here, as did our guests.
Having guests is great, but it also means that there is little time to write anything - especially since our guest room also functions as a study. Anyway, I managed to be sufficiently organized and still keep to my new programme. Yes, this new programme is proving to be just the thing! I feel motivated and enthusiastic about running again. There are plenty of fartlek and intervals, which was missing from the previous programme I was following. I have run regularly for the past 2 weeks and it has been hard work! Conventional wisdom says that when you stop running, it is awful when you start up again. I can attest that this is true even when you go off course, but do not necessarily stop running completely.
I am now running in my Brooks shoes, but my feet still feel a bit funny. I suppose it will take time to feel 'normal' again, but I am so very thankful that nothing more serious resulted from wearing the wrong running shoes. Another problem has also become quite pressing, and after a year I am finally going to see a doctor. When I run fast, I get tremendous cramps and have to stop and recover. It is pretty awful and usually involves blood. Now, I feel completely wretched after runs especially when I have tried to pick up the pace a bit. Well more on that later, but I suspect it might have something to do with nutrition.
Today I had a long 8 mile run scheduled, and was a bit apprehensive about it. Well, I did 9 miles, and ran at a slower pace, but finished it feeling good. I could still come home and make lunch, and did not need an afternoon nap. It has been a long time since I felt this good. It was disappointing not to chase a time, or at least try to, but there were no cramps, no blood, and it was a great run under a blue sunny sky!

Undertraining - or how to lose your mojo.

There are no shortcuts in running. Yep, I found this out the hard way. At the end of the tri season, all was dull and gloomy, and I still had 2 more goals on my list before the end of 2009. I had hoped to do 2 half marathons this year. It seemed a bit of a push to try and squeeze in 2 in 3 months, but I had a plan - or as Baldrick in Black Adder would say, I had a cunning plan!
I found a brilliant programme on runner's world - a beginner's half marathon programme. So far so good, except that this programme is aimed at building a base. There are no fartlek or hill workouts. The aim is to run 3 times a week, and cross train for 2. Two of the 3 runs are no longer than 35 minutes and the third run is a long one.
This is an excellent programme for anyone starting out - it is a death knell to someone who already has a few miles in the bank. I know I could always do with a few more, but this is not the way to go. I went from running an average of 5 miles 5 times a week (mainly before starting to run and swim, and then ran 5 miles about 4 times a week), to running 3 miles twice a week, and a long run on weekends. I cycled on the cross training days.
It started feeling awful pretty quickly. I felt tired and sluggish and running was no longer fun. So where was the cunning plan? I thought I could improve my speed: I would run shorter distances at a greater intensity. I also started running the 3 miles uphill. All well and good, but it was just not a good fit. There was no challenge in it, or if there was, I did not have enough experience to know how to tweak my running so that it would still be fun and interesting.
Slowly I slacked off - yes partly due to my feet (see previous post), but in part because I was bored, and running seemed a chore. Stuart, oh sage one, had warned me early on that this was not the route to go. I fobbed him off, and went my own merry way, only to find that he was right. But hindsight is a wonderful thing of 20-20 vision!
I am happy to say that I dragged myself to 2 races - sore feet, out of shape and unmotivated. I forced myself through the races as I tried to rediscover with why and wherefore of running. Alas, there is no magic formula. But doing the races kept me connected albeit by a slim thread, to the wonderful tribe that is the New England running community. It was therapeutic to watch others push themselves, it was marvellous to cheer the fleet footed who had already passed the halfway mark and were halfway home before I even got to the turnaround point and above all, it was good to experience that sense of possibility you can only feel at a race. It is the feeling that maybe you can chop 10 seconds off your time, it is the feeling that maybe this is 'your' race - the one where you get to be a rock star.
I spent a few more days thinking about what I wanted to do - mostly about how could I start again. Well, Tuesday night I found a great programme in the September edition of Women's Running. It had speed, hills and distance - a great programme covering all the bases. I will officially start next Monday, but I went for a 5 mile run last night. What a great run! And what a great feeling - I cannot remember the last time I felt so good after a run. Tonight I did 3 miles and some fartlek. That was good too. Although it is early days yet, I think I can safely say - I am getting my running mojo back!

Long Run

Firstly, congratulations Wendy on the good news, and yes I guess no running for a while! Did you only just find out? Swimming sounds great though, and I would like to know how things go with that! I have not been in the pool for ages, and have been trying to sort out my running a bit more, as it had gotten a bit on the short side!
My programme had me doing my long run yesterday, but I had to get a wedding pressie, and after a few hours at the shops, I was exhausted! I dilly-dallied, shilly-shallied all afternoon, and suddenly it was time for bed. I felt slightly annoyed at myself, because I could have done it had I wanted to, but was just not motivated enough to get out and do it.
This morning was a new morning, and off I went. I had a great run! I wish I had pushed myself to do it yesterday, as it would have made me feel so good. Even though I had a good run/walk with Irache Friday, I was feeling quite lazy on Saturday, and to be honest, going to the shops is not really my idea of fun. Well, sometimes they can be, but I was not in the right frame of mind for it yesterday.
After my run today, I felt that my balance had been restored and I told Stuart to push me out of the door the next time I put it off - running makes me feel good, so why be miserable? This is also the first time in quite a few months that I have done a longish run. I can say that the difference between my long runs 6 months ago, compared to now is astounding!
I do not have data for a 7 mile run, so this comparison, whilst not accurate in comparing like with like, does however give me an idea of how things are progressing.
I did an 8 mile run on 9 January 2009 in 1:43:05 (going at a conversational pace). I did the Lance Armstrong Live Strong 6.2 mile race on 22 February in 58:39. Today I ran 7 miles (at a conversational pace) in 1:13:45. I am excited about this because I think I have improved a bit. Next week's long run is 8 miles, and then I shall have comparable data. Still, one thing I am sure of - I can run 8 miles in less than 1:43 which is what it took me in January!

That sweet spot...

My programme today consisted of running for 40 minutes at a "conversational pace". I arrived home feeling drained, but having skipped my cycling yesterday (too much down time, then I started watching tele), I changed as soon as I got home, and went down to the gym.
After warming up for 10 minutes, I ran at 6 mph for 20, walked for 2 minutes and then finished with 8 minutes at 6.7 mph. That was a super formula for me today. It got me back in the zone, and I felt great afterwards. Had a quick stretch, a shower and made a frittata for dinner (I'll translate the recipe another time).
Now finally off to bed, and I recommend this 'formula' to anyone who is having a difficult moment with their running. Don't worry about going outside, just get on the treadmill and start running. Set a reasonable goal (even if you are used to running for not less than an hour), and finish it. If you are lucky enough to hit the sweet spot like I did today, it will be the quality of the run, rather than the length of time, that gets you to the next stage - your next run tomorrow.