To date most of my triathlon training has followed the formula of run-swim-bike, repeat. There has been no master plan and no nutritional plan, apart from the overall goal of finishing, and the secondary goals of overcoming my fear of deep water, learning to ride a bike and generally rediscovering my joie de vivre .
There were some advantages to this approach. I discovered that riding a bike was such an exhilirating experience! Not only was it fun, but I am starting to develop a real passion for riding. After years and years of watching the Tour de France et al, I can finally appreciate and understand the more technical aspects of the competition. The second advantage was that I signed up to do a pre-triathlon training course at MIT, and met some really nice people. It was really cool turning up at two of my tri's and actually knowing some people there!
Perhaps the biggest advantage was not overcoming my fear of deep water as easily as I thought I would. Yes, I wrote 'advantage'. Reason being that I was able to meet some wonderful women who are such powerful swimmers. Watching them swim was inspirational. Their speed, grace and elegance in the water made me realise that I would not be content to just get by, but that I need to find a proper swim coach and turn my weakness into my strength. I want to swim like Nancy and Tonya and Kristen!
The disadvantages of my laissez-faire approach can be seen in my pear-shaped nutrition. With 2 training sessions daily, I found myself running out of time to do anything else - especially cook. Too many evenings were spent dining on cereal - which is fine. It started going pear-shaped when I was even too tired for that, and would order in pizza. Eating outside of my usual routine has left me tired and listless, as well as feeling hungry all the time. I feel like I need to go to an Austrian spa for 2 weeks and then go back to my old eating habits which constitutes superb nutrition in my book, and makes me feel great. Needless to say it does not include pizza, biscuits or anything processed!
The second disadvantage to generic training without following any kind of programme, is that you peak at the most inopportune moments, rather than when you are supposed to. This is quite challenging, and having to stave off fatigue and mental burnout too, can be rather tiresome. Furthermore bad planning means that you are adrift without any real idea of the progress or improvements you are making. Sure, one has a general idea based on performance from 1 workout to another, but this has it's limits.
I have therefore decided to follow an actual programme. My goal is to complete 2 half-marathons before the end of 2009. In view of this, I have started following a 10 week training programme. This is a great programme which also has 2 days of cross-training. I have decided to concentrate on cycling for the moment, since I have recently gotten clipped in, and I would like to ride faster. There is a duathlon in my very near future, and I want to give it a decent shot!
My second goal is to get my nutrition and eating habits back on track. This is proving a bit difficult as I tend to 'snack' in the afternoons. Although they are healthy snacks (dried fruit and nuts), they have been my downfall in the past, and I need to kick this habit! Thirdly, I need to get back with my circuits. I love circuits, but they too have fallen by the wayside. I used to them before work, now they are pointedly ignored. I am slowly trying to sort through it all, and I am sure that even though it may take a bit of time, once it's done, all this organization will help me understand how to train more efficiently.
Showing posts with label triathlon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label triathlon. Show all posts
Monday, August 24, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Mental endurance or mental strength?
I had a pretty difficult week at work. As a result I only trained once - Thursday night when I went swimming. I was surprised at my reaction, because I never allow myself to 'give in' to circumstances. That does not mean that I am immune to negative events or circumstance, but I try not to be swayed by them, and see them as the obstacles that they are - simply obstacles. I think that I am quite adept at compartmentalising my work life from my personal life, and this is quite helpful in keeping me focused on what is really important in my life - my family. Challenges are only challenges because you THINK you cannot overcome them, has always been my philosophy. Admittedly I have not always understood what that means, but I think I may have finally worked something out!
Things have been rolling along nicely with the tri training in general. I have cut down on the running, and do not race on Sundays anymore, as I am trying to develop my cycling and swimming skills. I usually look forward to my sessions and often manage to run in the mornings, and either swim or bike in the afternoons. Mind you, I use the stationery bike, as proper rides are reserved for weekends when I have more time.
Given all of the above, when I think about mental strength, I first thought it meant having the determination to set and see through your goals. In this case, the training was necessary, and getting to each session was a necessary step to achieve the bigger goal or a race or a tri. My week at work has made me think a bit more about what this means, and how this translates into my tri training. All desire to train vanished this week, and I felt a bit tired mentally. Logically I was able to understand what was happening at work, as just that - processes which I was unable to control. Yet I allowed myself to become mentally fatigued. It also made me wonder about whether I need to develop more mental strength or endurance.
The Oxford English dictionary defines Endurance as "the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way" whilst Strength is defined as "the emotional or mental qualities necessary in dealing with situations or events that are distressing or difficult". I think that I was able to understand and deal with the issues at work in a way which makes me think that I am clear on the mental strength side. Endurance though, seems to be another story.
Things have been rolling along nicely with the tri training in general. I have cut down on the running, and do not race on Sundays anymore, as I am trying to develop my cycling and swimming skills. I usually look forward to my sessions and often manage to run in the mornings, and either swim or bike in the afternoons. Mind you, I use the stationery bike, as proper rides are reserved for weekends when I have more time.
Given all of the above, when I think about mental strength, I first thought it meant having the determination to set and see through your goals. In this case, the training was necessary, and getting to each session was a necessary step to achieve the bigger goal or a race or a tri. My week at work has made me think a bit more about what this means, and how this translates into my tri training. All desire to train vanished this week, and I felt a bit tired mentally. Logically I was able to understand what was happening at work, as just that - processes which I was unable to control. Yet I allowed myself to become mentally fatigued. It also made me wonder about whether I need to develop more mental strength or endurance.
The Oxford English dictionary defines Endurance as "the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way" whilst Strength is defined as "the emotional or mental qualities necessary in dealing with situations or events that are distressing or difficult". I think that I was able to understand and deal with the issues at work in a way which makes me think that I am clear on the mental strength side. Endurance though, seems to be another story.
Historically 'endurance' has always been associated with martyrs and saints (who have endured endless suffering and torture). The other context has been associated with women, slaves, the poor etc who have 'endured' all kinds of horrors. True, they may have overcome in the end, but meanings associated with 'endurance' seem to suggest a kind of passive acceptance, of holding on through thick and thicker.
I understand that this is a more complex issue than that which I am focussing on, but 'endurance' has not been one of my favourite things. Strength has positive connotations which somehow endurance has not quite managed yet. Whilst it is also true that words can become pejorative over time ('sods' no longer refer to the earth, but to unpleasant beings) or completely change their meanings ('gay' is rarely used to indicate happiness, 'booty' is no longer a pirate's stash of gold). Why am I telling you all this? Well maybe 'endurance' means something a bit more than enduring ultra distances, unpleasant people or difficult situations.
In thinking a bit more about mental endurance, I think the key lies in the second part of the definition "the power of enduring....without giving way". I am not sure if I would interpret that as blindly sallying forth even under difficult circumstances, getting the training in even if it is not of a good quality. But this week I realised that mental endurance is an aspect of triathlon training that needs to be developed along with bike technique, faster swim times and more powerful runs. How exactly I set out to do this, is the topic for another post.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Triathlon by the Sea transition tips
1. I asked for some advice in a tri forum prior to my triathlon, and I got some really good advice. In addition to the advice they gave me, I found out the following: Since I was wearing a 2 piece for the entire race, I thought I did not really need a lot of stuff. So I practised the transition the night before a few times, and it was good to visual everything in the proper order. Come race day it was raining, and I left everything in a bag, but sorted it out in the transition order I had practised. 2. I knew I would be a bit slow in the swim, but I was told to give it a good go on the bike. I set off hell for leather, and actually caught and overtook a few people. I started slowly though, and warmed my legs up a bit - or tried to!
3. Know exactly where the timing mats are as you transition. I thought I knew, but after the swim, I spent a few minutes getting my glasses from my friend, and chatting with her, before she said you should get going! I then had to sprint out to try and find the timing mat which the volunteers pointed out.
4. I do not regret chatting with my friend because it allowed me to feel the joy of having actually completed the swim! Another good piece of advice I received was to talk to the other people around me was well heeded. The woman who had her bike racked next to mine, helped me, as I did not have a clue what to do, I met her at the swim and since she had done this same tri 2 years ago, kept telling me what an awesome thing I was doing!
5. My husband was in Germany, so I took a friend with me and another met me there. Do not go alone, it is super to have a girlfriend there, cheering for you. I am certainly going to return the favour to someone else!
6. I ran without socks, which I am used to. However it was raining and I did get a few blisters. Still for a short race it's not too bad.. not sure about longer ones though.
7. I wore flip flops from the pool to T1 area. If you do that, get ones which are slip in slip out, not with a V front. I struggled to get them on, and then struggled to keep them on in the downhill run to the T1 area in the rain.
8. Have a snack you are used to. I usually have fig newman's when I run, and I had the same at the tri. 1 is enough as there is no time for more. I had very little breakfast, so was starving after the bike. Do not wrap in foil though!
I am sure I could have done a lot of things a lot more efficiently, but the best advice I got from this forum , was to relax, enjoy and FINISH.
Monday, May 25, 2009
9th Annual Triathlon by the Sea
On Sunday 17 May 2009, I completed my first triathlon. The 9th annual Triathlon by the Sea is a sprint triathlon, consisting of a 250 yard pool swim, a 10 mile bike ride, and a 3.5 mile run. The pool at the Jewish Cultural Centre in Marblehead has 6 lanes, and starts from a depth of 3.5 feet, and dropping down to 12 feet. Since it was going to be a pool swim, all participants had to send in their lap times to the race director, you were then seeded, and this would determine your start time on race day.
On race day there would be 15 seconds separating you from the person in front and behind. You would run over the timing carpet, and on jumping into the pool, you would swim up the first lane, duck under the lane barrier, swim down lane 2 and then up again, before ducking under into the next lane, until the final length in the last lane which was to be straight down. On exiting the pool, you would have to run outside on your way to the transition area, and you would pass over another timing carpet which would lock in your swim time. Both T1 and T2 times would be included in the bike leg. The run section of the tri meant running over a timing carpet on starting and ending the race, to lock in your run time.
Sunday finally arrived with rain and thunder. I was up at 4am, had an espresso, checked my bag one final time and put on my Zoot 2-piece tri suit. Since Stuart was in Germany for work, my dear friend Kathy was coming to Marblehead with me. Pata had said that she would meet us there, since she had biking lessons later that day, and would need to leave before the end of the triathlon. Kathy and I got to Marblehead, and it was still raining heavily. After parking on the hill, we went to pick up my race number - after which I was marked with my number on my right calf and right arm.
I had forgotten about this rite, and it felt pretty cool, though admittedly I was far from the state of mind to enjoy it. I was not anxious, and had had a pretty decent night's sleep - quite unlike my state prior to a road race! I had also made a strong determination that I would enjoy the swim. If I could enjoy the swim, what was there not to enjoy about the bike and the run? All I needed to do was to finish the swim to get to the next stage - however long it took. With this in mind, I reigned in my mind, and refused to think of anything, other than the swim I was about to enjoy.
We met up with Pata and walked down to the transition area. It was still raining quite heavily, and in the end, I left all my stuff in my bag, near the bike. I only had 5 items anyway - helmet and shoes for T1 and a race belt with my number for T2. A towel and a snack wrapped in foil were the other 2 items. I took off my track bottoms, hoodie and shoes, put them in the car, and we walked off to the spectators area above the pool.
Then suddenly the swims started and people were flying through the water. I was near the bottom of the list, since my time for the 10 lengths was 10:37. I finally went down to the pool area and started chatting with everyone who was waiting around. It was great, and people were really nice. All too soon I was up. I got into the pool and started swimming. I was soon overtaken, but continued in my leisurely fashion. I needed to stay calm and finish the swim, but above all, I wanted to enjoy it. It took forever, and I was the last person out of the pool, but the sense of joy was non-pareil. I had actually finished it, and now I could enjoy the rest of the tri! It was raining even more heavily when I got outside, I dried my feet, shoved them inside the shoes, and started running down the hill with my bike. I mounted it on Atlantic Avenue, as we were not allowed to prior to a certain point.
I pushed off and cycled, trying to warm up my cold legs. The wind was howling as I neared Marblehead Neck, but that was of no import. Up the neck I went and actually passed a few people. Since we were supposed to do 3 loops, I had no idea what loop they were on. I flew down the hills, held off the brakes, and felt like a million dollars. Yes, I had the confidence in myself to relax and enjoy it - it was an amazing thing, words cannot translate those feelings but it made me want to learn more and improve my cycling technique.
Soon, I was cycling back to the JCC for the final transition. It was still raining, but at this point, I think everyone had forgotten about it. On starting the run, I could no longer feel my legs: they were so cold, but at the same time, they were burning. This was not something I had encountered in any bricks! I was 2 miles into the run before my legs got some feeling back. I know I did not run very fast, but I did not really care. I enjoyed it, and arrived back at the JCC without feeling knackered, but feeling that finally I was ready to run a 10 miler! I ran over the final timing carpet and FINISHED!!!!
It was a moment that I will always remember: nothing really prepares you for it. After my wedding day, this is the most amazing moment of my life. I had done that thing and I could not believe it. In that moment I felt that I could do anything. Nothing is an obstacle except in my mind. I had learned to ride a bike, I had successfully controlled my fear of deep water and I had fulfilled my dream of doing a triathlon. I had already signed up for a second triathlon prior to doing this one, but I signed myself and Stuart up for another - which has the same bike course in Marblehead. Both of these are open water swims of half a mile. The first is in a lake, whilst the second is in the sea. These are new challenges for me, but I am no longer afraid. That does not mean that the fear will not return, but I will get over this one day - because I have done it before.
One of the most immediate benefits was my ability to ride on a road with traffic. Admittedly not a major thoroughfare, but certainly busy enough. When Stuart suggested this ride whilst we were in Gloucester for the Memorial day weekend, I said yes immediately, without fear, and I enjoyed it too. My next swim goals are to learn to swim properly, learn another stroke besides the front crawl, learn to swim in open water and learn to tread water. My next bike goals are to cycle with my saddle at the correct height, learn to get out of the saddle, learn to drink whilst riding and relax enough to take my hands off the brakes!
I finished the triathlon in 1:45:12 (13:22; 55:55; 35:55). I placed 26/30 in my age group, and 216 in a field of 230. On with the next!
On race day there would be 15 seconds separating you from the person in front and behind. You would run over the timing carpet, and on jumping into the pool, you would swim up the first lane, duck under the lane barrier, swim down lane 2 and then up again, before ducking under into the next lane, until the final length in the last lane which was to be straight down. On exiting the pool, you would have to run outside on your way to the transition area, and you would pass over another timing carpet which would lock in your swim time. Both T1 and T2 times would be included in the bike leg. The run section of the tri meant running over a timing carpet on starting and ending the race, to lock in your run time.
Sunday finally arrived with rain and thunder. I was up at 4am, had an espresso, checked my bag one final time and put on my Zoot 2-piece tri suit. Since Stuart was in Germany for work, my dear friend Kathy was coming to Marblehead with me. Pata had said that she would meet us there, since she had biking lessons later that day, and would need to leave before the end of the triathlon. Kathy and I got to Marblehead, and it was still raining heavily. After parking on the hill, we went to pick up my race number - after which I was marked with my number on my right calf and right arm.
I had forgotten about this rite, and it felt pretty cool, though admittedly I was far from the state of mind to enjoy it. I was not anxious, and had had a pretty decent night's sleep - quite unlike my state prior to a road race! I had also made a strong determination that I would enjoy the swim. If I could enjoy the swim, what was there not to enjoy about the bike and the run? All I needed to do was to finish the swim to get to the next stage - however long it took. With this in mind, I reigned in my mind, and refused to think of anything, other than the swim I was about to enjoy.
We met up with Pata and walked down to the transition area. It was still raining quite heavily, and in the end, I left all my stuff in my bag, near the bike. I only had 5 items anyway - helmet and shoes for T1 and a race belt with my number for T2. A towel and a snack wrapped in foil were the other 2 items. I took off my track bottoms, hoodie and shoes, put them in the car, and we walked off to the spectators area above the pool.
Then suddenly the swims started and people were flying through the water. I was near the bottom of the list, since my time for the 10 lengths was 10:37. I finally went down to the pool area and started chatting with everyone who was waiting around. It was great, and people were really nice. All too soon I was up. I got into the pool and started swimming. I was soon overtaken, but continued in my leisurely fashion. I needed to stay calm and finish the swim, but above all, I wanted to enjoy it. It took forever, and I was the last person out of the pool, but the sense of joy was non-pareil. I had actually finished it, and now I could enjoy the rest of the tri! It was raining even more heavily when I got outside, I dried my feet, shoved them inside the shoes, and started running down the hill with my bike. I mounted it on Atlantic Avenue, as we were not allowed to prior to a certain point.
I pushed off and cycled, trying to warm up my cold legs. The wind was howling as I neared Marblehead Neck, but that was of no import. Up the neck I went and actually passed a few people. Since we were supposed to do 3 loops, I had no idea what loop they were on. I flew down the hills, held off the brakes, and felt like a million dollars. Yes, I had the confidence in myself to relax and enjoy it - it was an amazing thing, words cannot translate those feelings but it made me want to learn more and improve my cycling technique.
Soon, I was cycling back to the JCC for the final transition. It was still raining, but at this point, I think everyone had forgotten about it. On starting the run, I could no longer feel my legs: they were so cold, but at the same time, they were burning. This was not something I had encountered in any bricks! I was 2 miles into the run before my legs got some feeling back. I know I did not run very fast, but I did not really care. I enjoyed it, and arrived back at the JCC without feeling knackered, but feeling that finally I was ready to run a 10 miler! I ran over the final timing carpet and FINISHED!!!!
It was a moment that I will always remember: nothing really prepares you for it. After my wedding day, this is the most amazing moment of my life. I had done that thing and I could not believe it. In that moment I felt that I could do anything. Nothing is an obstacle except in my mind. I had learned to ride a bike, I had successfully controlled my fear of deep water and I had fulfilled my dream of doing a triathlon. I had already signed up for a second triathlon prior to doing this one, but I signed myself and Stuart up for another - which has the same bike course in Marblehead. Both of these are open water swims of half a mile. The first is in a lake, whilst the second is in the sea. These are new challenges for me, but I am no longer afraid. That does not mean that the fear will not return, but I will get over this one day - because I have done it before.
One of the most immediate benefits was my ability to ride on a road with traffic. Admittedly not a major thoroughfare, but certainly busy enough. When Stuart suggested this ride whilst we were in Gloucester for the Memorial day weekend, I said yes immediately, without fear, and I enjoyed it too. My next swim goals are to learn to swim properly, learn another stroke besides the front crawl, learn to swim in open water and learn to tread water. My next bike goals are to cycle with my saddle at the correct height, learn to get out of the saddle, learn to drink whilst riding and relax enough to take my hands off the brakes!
I finished the triathlon in 1:45:12 (13:22; 55:55; 35:55). I placed 26/30 in my age group, and 216 in a field of 230. On with the next!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
How to swim in 14 feet of water - or not
When I first started thinking about doing a triathlon, I thought the bike would be my weakest discipline since I had to actually learn to ride first. The ensuing experience, and the speed with which I learned to balance, ride, climb, change gears, coast and corner, finally made me feel that although I may not be very fast on the bike, I can finish this leg. Not for a moment did I think that swimming would become my Archilles heel.
I am not a great swimmer. I learned to swim as an adult and can only do 2 styles: front crawl and backstroke, and let me add that I do neither very well. I have always been a bit afraid of deep water, but have learned to manage my fear over the years. Indeed I have even jumped off a yacht, straight into the sea and snorkelled off the Costa Smeralda or Emerald Coast in Sardinia, Italy. Last summer I went swimming at the local Y, and I also managed to control my fear in 7 feet of water, which is the deep end in that pool.
This year however, because I spent most of my time trying to learn to cycle, I found it too challenging to start swimming as well. Anyway, I thought I would be able to manage my fear as I have always done. When I finally started the tri course, and started swimming on Mondays, I found I could not jump into a pool where 7 feet was considered to be the shallow end, and 14 the deep!
So I swam lengths in the shallow teaching pool, improved my stroke and learned to breathe on both sides. Last Monday I finally went to the 'big' pool. Although I had a few faltering starts, I managed my fear and I think I swam more than 700 yards that day. I felt I had taken a huge leap, and now all I needed to do was practice, and I would be fine come race day.
Well, yesterday we did a 'mock' triathlon. I had been dreading the swim, and the anxiety had been building all weekend. When I set off for the pool after work, I had to go back home 3 times to fetch various items I had forgotten. Stuart joked that I was secretly hoping the swim would be finished by the time I got there.
Well, no such luck - not only was I early, but the pool was relatively empty. My anxiety level was sky-high at this point. I got into the pool and clung to the side. After a while, feeling most unready, but urging myself to take the plunge so to speak, I started swimming. I only went a few yards when I had to clutch onto the side of the pool. I stayed there for a bit and found that I could not go on, so I swam back to the start.
I made a second start and stopped at exactly the same place. I swam back, spoke to myself out loud and tried to analyse what I was doing differently from the previous week and then started out for the third time. Yes, you guessed it, I stopped at the same place, only this time the lifeguard came over and asked me if I knew how to swim! This was not what I wanted to hear, and I explained to him that sometimes it took me a while to get into the swing of things. Still, I recognised that that was not going to happen that afternoon: I could either stay in the pool, desperately clutching the wall, or I could get out and actually swim a bit in the shallow pool.
I chose the latter. Naturally I felt a bit disappointed at having given up, and even more worryingly, how on earth am I going to swim on Sunday? Last night was not a good night, as I felt a bit lost and concerned about how to sort out this situation. I spent all of today thinking about it, and appealed for help in a triathlon forum. The response was amazing! I got so much encouragement, and help from so many people. It would also seem that quite a few people struggle with the swim.
Most importantly, I read something in one of my Buddhist magazines which I am still chewing over: when you take a leap from point A to point B, that is progress. But you cannot always go on to point C. You have to go back to point A and fill in the gaps which span your leap to point B otherwise you have a shaky foundation. Translated into swimming terms this made me understand that although I had made that leap when I swam in 14 feet of water, and in the sea in Sardinia, I never went back to fill in the gaps. Now I am trying to understand what are these gaps that need filling, and above all, how did I feel last Monday and what enabled me to swim in deep water.
I have decided that I am not going to manage my fear as I have done in the past. I do not think that I am going to overcome it in a few days either. However, I want to try and understand what I need to do to trust myself more when I am in the water. Most of all, I am trying to understand how I can be in deep water, and not associate that with feelings of fear. After all, water is the cradle of life - the place where human beings first came from....
I am not a great swimmer. I learned to swim as an adult and can only do 2 styles: front crawl and backstroke, and let me add that I do neither very well. I have always been a bit afraid of deep water, but have learned to manage my fear over the years. Indeed I have even jumped off a yacht, straight into the sea and snorkelled off the Costa Smeralda or Emerald Coast in Sardinia, Italy. Last summer I went swimming at the local Y, and I also managed to control my fear in 7 feet of water, which is the deep end in that pool.
This year however, because I spent most of my time trying to learn to cycle, I found it too challenging to start swimming as well. Anyway, I thought I would be able to manage my fear as I have always done. When I finally started the tri course, and started swimming on Mondays, I found I could not jump into a pool where 7 feet was considered to be the shallow end, and 14 the deep!
So I swam lengths in the shallow teaching pool, improved my stroke and learned to breathe on both sides. Last Monday I finally went to the 'big' pool. Although I had a few faltering starts, I managed my fear and I think I swam more than 700 yards that day. I felt I had taken a huge leap, and now all I needed to do was practice, and I would be fine come race day.
Well, yesterday we did a 'mock' triathlon. I had been dreading the swim, and the anxiety had been building all weekend. When I set off for the pool after work, I had to go back home 3 times to fetch various items I had forgotten. Stuart joked that I was secretly hoping the swim would be finished by the time I got there.
Well, no such luck - not only was I early, but the pool was relatively empty. My anxiety level was sky-high at this point. I got into the pool and clung to the side. After a while, feeling most unready, but urging myself to take the plunge so to speak, I started swimming. I only went a few yards when I had to clutch onto the side of the pool. I stayed there for a bit and found that I could not go on, so I swam back to the start.
I made a second start and stopped at exactly the same place. I swam back, spoke to myself out loud and tried to analyse what I was doing differently from the previous week and then started out for the third time. Yes, you guessed it, I stopped at the same place, only this time the lifeguard came over and asked me if I knew how to swim! This was not what I wanted to hear, and I explained to him that sometimes it took me a while to get into the swing of things. Still, I recognised that that was not going to happen that afternoon: I could either stay in the pool, desperately clutching the wall, or I could get out and actually swim a bit in the shallow pool.
I chose the latter. Naturally I felt a bit disappointed at having given up, and even more worryingly, how on earth am I going to swim on Sunday? Last night was not a good night, as I felt a bit lost and concerned about how to sort out this situation. I spent all of today thinking about it, and appealed for help in a triathlon forum. The response was amazing! I got so much encouragement, and help from so many people. It would also seem that quite a few people struggle with the swim.
Most importantly, I read something in one of my Buddhist magazines which I am still chewing over: when you take a leap from point A to point B, that is progress. But you cannot always go on to point C. You have to go back to point A and fill in the gaps which span your leap to point B otherwise you have a shaky foundation. Translated into swimming terms this made me understand that although I had made that leap when I swam in 14 feet of water, and in the sea in Sardinia, I never went back to fill in the gaps. Now I am trying to understand what are these gaps that need filling, and above all, how did I feel last Monday and what enabled me to swim in deep water.
I have decided that I am not going to manage my fear as I have done in the past. I do not think that I am going to overcome it in a few days either. However, I want to try and understand what I need to do to trust myself more when I am in the water. Most of all, I am trying to understand how I can be in deep water, and not associate that with feelings of fear. After all, water is the cradle of life - the place where human beings first came from....
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Of rollercoasters and high emotions
It has been quite hard to keep track of the emotional rollercoaster I seem to have been on lately. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that I would start enjoying cycling. That first 20 mile ride albeit slow, felt like such an accomplishment! I felt a lot more confident on the bike and I could speed up for short bursts. As a prelude to the triathlon, Pata and I decided that we would go and ride the course in Marblehead last Saturday morning. Since it would be my first ride on the road, we decided to go really early. Naturally some obstacles emerged.....
Stuart casually mentioned that he was going back to Geneva and would not be there for the triathlon. OK, that can't be helped, but that together with the fact that it was raining on Saturday morning, the darkness and my general sense of panic, lead me to flake out. I just could not make that leap, and instead Pata and I ended up having a nice ride on the bike path. It calmed my nerves, and set me up for the next day.
Feeling in a much calmer frame of mind after my swim that evening, I asked Stuart to go to Marblehead the next morning. We loaded up our bikes, and off we went. By 7am we had started on the 10 mile bike course and were nearing the Marblehead neck. The course map was not too clear about which direction to take, so we ended up going clockwise, and I really struggled with one huge hill - in fact it was so bad I had to get off and push - on all 4 loops!
Still it was pretty cool doing that course. I have no idea how long it took, and what my time is, but I can say that the sense of accomplishment was huge! I could not believe that I had done this thing! Yes, I know it sounds a bit silly, but hey, 2 months ago, I did not even know how to cycle!
Stuart casually mentioned that he was going back to Geneva and would not be there for the triathlon. OK, that can't be helped, but that together with the fact that it was raining on Saturday morning, the darkness and my general sense of panic, lead me to flake out. I just could not make that leap, and instead Pata and I ended up having a nice ride on the bike path. It calmed my nerves, and set me up for the next day.
Feeling in a much calmer frame of mind after my swim that evening, I asked Stuart to go to Marblehead the next morning. We loaded up our bikes, and off we went. By 7am we had started on the 10 mile bike course and were nearing the Marblehead neck. The course map was not too clear about which direction to take, so we ended up going clockwise, and I really struggled with one huge hill - in fact it was so bad I had to get off and push - on all 4 loops!
Still it was pretty cool doing that course. I have no idea how long it took, and what my time is, but I can say that the sense of accomplishment was huge! I could not believe that I had done this thing! Yes, I know it sounds a bit silly, but hey, 2 months ago, I did not even know how to cycle!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
A dawning realisation....
My adventures with the bike have been so-so up to now. I usually have my lesson on a Saturday, and since my venture with Christine, my confidence took a bit of a knock. It has taken me a couple of lessons to get back to where I was, and the true test came when Pata took me on a bike trail.
Two Saturdays ago, on a bright sunny afternoon, off we went amidst children, other cyclists, runners and mothers with prams. It was hair-raising! Up and down, up and down we went and I managed to avoid knocking into anyone. Last Saturday was cold and rainy, and the bike path was almost deserted, except for the few die-hards out riding. This time Pata tried to get me to change gears, but it would seem that I cannot concentrate on cycling and changing gears! So the first change took me off the bike, the second had me wobbling so much I had to make a very undignified stop. The third attempt at a gear change resulted in the chain getting stuck between the rings. OK, so I have to work this one out in a hurry, but in the meantime I have added Tuesdays and Thursdays to the biking schedule, and have more lessons with Pata as I definitely need to get out on the bike a lot more. Today for instance was bitterly cold - but I actually had a good ride. I felt a lot more confident on the bike, and could control it a bit better. Still, I can't actually change gears yet, but I am working on that.
I am doing a pre-triathlon conditioning course at MIT, so Mondays we swim, Wednesdays run and bike (or spin) on Fridays. Yesterday was the first time since the Summer that I set foot in the pool. Funny thing that, I arrived a bit late, and the others had already started on their laps. Jane, our coach told me to "just jump in". I looked down and saw that it was 7 foot, and told Jane I was going round to the shallow end to get in. She looked at me and said, "Natalia, this is the shallow end - its much deeper over there".
Well, the truth of the matter is, I just could not jump in. Luckily there is a teaching pool just behind and I told Jane I would do a few laps there. I managed to swim the full hour, as fitness is not the issue - the issue is my fear of deep water. Last night I actually realised the enormity of this undertaking. Not the distances and training, but the mastery of the mind - how to ride a bike confidently, and how to overcome the fear of deep water! Today I still felt rather overwhelmed at the thought of doing this triathlon next month. Time is so short and I still have so much to do. Lance Armstrong seems to think that a triathlon is "a wash, a shampoo and a blowdry", which it might very well be. However it does help to have a good head to work with in the first place!
Two Saturdays ago, on a bright sunny afternoon, off we went amidst children, other cyclists, runners and mothers with prams. It was hair-raising! Up and down, up and down we went and I managed to avoid knocking into anyone. Last Saturday was cold and rainy, and the bike path was almost deserted, except for the few die-hards out riding. This time Pata tried to get me to change gears, but it would seem that I cannot concentrate on cycling and changing gears! So the first change took me off the bike, the second had me wobbling so much I had to make a very undignified stop. The third attempt at a gear change resulted in the chain getting stuck between the rings. OK, so I have to work this one out in a hurry, but in the meantime I have added Tuesdays and Thursdays to the biking schedule, and have more lessons with Pata as I definitely need to get out on the bike a lot more. Today for instance was bitterly cold - but I actually had a good ride. I felt a lot more confident on the bike, and could control it a bit better. Still, I can't actually change gears yet, but I am working on that.
I am doing a pre-triathlon conditioning course at MIT, so Mondays we swim, Wednesdays run and bike (or spin) on Fridays. Yesterday was the first time since the Summer that I set foot in the pool. Funny thing that, I arrived a bit late, and the others had already started on their laps. Jane, our coach told me to "just jump in". I looked down and saw that it was 7 foot, and told Jane I was going round to the shallow end to get in. She looked at me and said, "Natalia, this is the shallow end - its much deeper over there".
Well, the truth of the matter is, I just could not jump in. Luckily there is a teaching pool just behind and I told Jane I would do a few laps there. I managed to swim the full hour, as fitness is not the issue - the issue is my fear of deep water. Last night I actually realised the enormity of this undertaking. Not the distances and training, but the mastery of the mind - how to ride a bike confidently, and how to overcome the fear of deep water! Today I still felt rather overwhelmed at the thought of doing this triathlon next month. Time is so short and I still have so much to do. Lance Armstrong seems to think that a triathlon is "a wash, a shampoo and a blowdry", which it might very well be. However it does help to have a good head to work with in the first place!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike, I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I like....
"You have a lot of guts, signing up for a triathalon, not knowing how to ride. The only other student we've had who has done a triathlon, that I'm aware of, did it ten years after first learning to ride", was the reply I got back from the Bicycle Riding School in Cambridge. I had sent off an email requesting lessons rather urgently as it suddenly dawned on me that I had about 2 months left before my first triathlon.
I was unprepared for the feeling of panic that engulfed me as I read the email. When I think about riding the 10 mile course that is the bike distance, I suppose I imagined just peddling along merrily (not unlike those riders in the Queen video - except I would be clothed). The idea that I might need to race a wee bit, had not crossed my mind! Still, this did not seem like the moment to chicken out (just a few short weeks ago the stair climb seemed huge - now I am thinking of doing another). I rang the school and discussed the matter with Pata, who is really keen on helping me out.
Unfortunately it has started snowing again, and there is still thick ice everywhere so we might have to wait a bit until we can have a lesson. I was feeling a bit overcome at the time: learning to ride is one thing, riding in a race another, and riding amidst traffic still another! I did not have the courage to tell Pata that I have in fact signed up for two triathlons. I thought I might tell her in person, perhaps when I can ride in a straight line.
Watching the Tour of California has done little to steady my nerves. I usually enjoy the Tour de France, Giro d'Italia, the Paris-Roubaix etc - this time watching the peloton come around corners has left me feeling slightly shaken and stirred.
When the feelings of panic did not subside, I rushed down to the gym last night where I did a proper brick, something I have not done in weeks. I cycled for 30 minutes and managed to do 7 miles, after which I ran for an hour and managed 5.5 miles at a slow pace. I am still not feeling great though my lungs are feeling less squashed. Still I believe nothing is ever wasted. I may have ridden a stationary bike for years, but I have trained hard to use a high cadence both on hills as well as on the flat. Pata thinks this will come in very, very handy.
Still, all this palls into insignificance when I think about the story in the March 2009 edition of Runners World - Matty Long's courage and determination is such an inspiration. My being a scaredy cat, just does not cut the mustard.
I was unprepared for the feeling of panic that engulfed me as I read the email. When I think about riding the 10 mile course that is the bike distance, I suppose I imagined just peddling along merrily (not unlike those riders in the Queen video - except I would be clothed). The idea that I might need to race a wee bit, had not crossed my mind! Still, this did not seem like the moment to chicken out (just a few short weeks ago the stair climb seemed huge - now I am thinking of doing another). I rang the school and discussed the matter with Pata, who is really keen on helping me out.
Unfortunately it has started snowing again, and there is still thick ice everywhere so we might have to wait a bit until we can have a lesson. I was feeling a bit overcome at the time: learning to ride is one thing, riding in a race another, and riding amidst traffic still another! I did not have the courage to tell Pata that I have in fact signed up for two triathlons. I thought I might tell her in person, perhaps when I can ride in a straight line.
Watching the Tour of California has done little to steady my nerves. I usually enjoy the Tour de France, Giro d'Italia, the Paris-Roubaix etc - this time watching the peloton come around corners has left me feeling slightly shaken and stirred.
When the feelings of panic did not subside, I rushed down to the gym last night where I did a proper brick, something I have not done in weeks. I cycled for 30 minutes and managed to do 7 miles, after which I ran for an hour and managed 5.5 miles at a slow pace. I am still not feeling great though my lungs are feeling less squashed. Still I believe nothing is ever wasted. I may have ridden a stationary bike for years, but I have trained hard to use a high cadence both on hills as well as on the flat. Pata thinks this will come in very, very handy.
Still, all this palls into insignificance when I think about the story in the March 2009 edition of Runners World - Matty Long's courage and determination is such an inspiration. My being a scaredy cat, just does not cut the mustard.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
A bridge not so far
The 'Triathlon by the Sea' event comes highly recommended for first time triers. When the 2009 event was announced a few days ago, I signed up. I can run a bit, but I can't ride a bike and I can't swim in open water. So what makes me think I can do a triathlon?
I believe that once you set your mind to something, acquire the necessary skills - it's a done deal. Naturally this formula does not take into account the psychoses of the mind. I learnt to swim at school but was never really any good at it. I finally learnt to swim properly rather late in life, but have an overwhelming fear of deep water. Even at the swimming pool, I can only swim in the lane alongside the wall, and every now and again, for no apparent reason I suddenly grab onto the side, with a pounding heart. Swimming in open water is a bridge so far that I feel panic-stricken just thinking about it. This I will deal with later in the year, when I do my second triathlon, and the swim is in the sea.
Right now, I can cope with the idea of swimming in a pool. If I can improve my technique and swim faster, this will increase my confidence and undoubtedly lessen my fear of deep water. I am convinced that a strong technique is the key to keeping my mind in check. After all, is fear anything else than the inability to climb the mountain in front of you. I know it sounds cliched, but I like what Lasse Viren once said "Dream barriers look very high until someone climbs them. They are not barriers anymore."
So I think for this first triathlon, my barrier to climb is learning how to ride a bike. I've had a few attempts, and that has taught me that the key to success is BALANCE. It took me a while to work out that perhaps technique is secondary (perhaps?!), but confidence on a bike comes from the ability to balance yourself and the bike. Maybe this explains why I was so rubbish at skiing!
I have been doing some balance-improving exercises. I don't know if they work or not, but I see this as yet another small step in this journey. As soon as it stops snowing I shall go for a few lessons and try riding outdoors. So I guess my bike riding and swimming journeys are going to feature prominently over the next few months. One thing I do know: I will ride a bike by 17th May, as I am determined to do this triathlon. What a joy it will be to finally say, I too am a triathlete.
I believe that once you set your mind to something, acquire the necessary skills - it's a done deal. Naturally this formula does not take into account the psychoses of the mind. I learnt to swim at school but was never really any good at it. I finally learnt to swim properly rather late in life, but have an overwhelming fear of deep water. Even at the swimming pool, I can only swim in the lane alongside the wall, and every now and again, for no apparent reason I suddenly grab onto the side, with a pounding heart. Swimming in open water is a bridge so far that I feel panic-stricken just thinking about it. This I will deal with later in the year, when I do my second triathlon, and the swim is in the sea.
Right now, I can cope with the idea of swimming in a pool. If I can improve my technique and swim faster, this will increase my confidence and undoubtedly lessen my fear of deep water. I am convinced that a strong technique is the key to keeping my mind in check. After all, is fear anything else than the inability to climb the mountain in front of you. I know it sounds cliched, but I like what Lasse Viren once said "Dream barriers look very high until someone climbs them. They are not barriers anymore."
So I think for this first triathlon, my barrier to climb is learning how to ride a bike. I've had a few attempts, and that has taught me that the key to success is BALANCE. It took me a while to work out that perhaps technique is secondary (perhaps?!), but confidence on a bike comes from the ability to balance yourself and the bike. Maybe this explains why I was so rubbish at skiing!
I have been doing some balance-improving exercises. I don't know if they work or not, but I see this as yet another small step in this journey. As soon as it stops snowing I shall go for a few lessons and try riding outdoors. So I guess my bike riding and swimming journeys are going to feature prominently over the next few months. One thing I do know: I will ride a bike by 17th May, as I am determined to do this triathlon. What a joy it will be to finally say, I too am a triathlete.
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